The Bite Somebody Else Photo Shoot

I do love a warm blood bath. To prepare for this spectacular homage to the Bite Somebody series, I didn’t drink any blood for weeks! Some brave folks got close enough to snap pictures, but … well, I may have taken a couple little bites. Imogene would approve.

Photo by Bill Thornhill.

Photo by Steph Gentry.

Photo by Bill Thornhill.

Photo by Bill Thornhill.

Photo by Bill Thornhill.

Photo by Bill Thornhill.

Photo by Bill Thornhill.

Photo by Steph Gentry.

Photo by Bill Thornhill.

In case you didn’t notice, June is the birthday month of Bite Somebody Else. The second and final book in the Bite Somebody series comes out June 20th. If you haven’t pre-ordered your copy from World Weaver Press, what are you waiting for? Click HERE for more info.

Finally, a shout out to the amazing people who made this photo shoot happen. Blood bath bombs by Ocean Bubbles Bath and Body. (They smell soooooo good!) Photographs by Bill Thornhill and Steph Gentry. Hair and makeup by Megan Lacy Sullivan. (I love you guys. So much.) Here’s a shot of us being ridiculous behind the scenes. Megan is hiding, Steph is fixing my bra, and Bill is having an all right time.

The BITE SOMEBODY Series Fantasy Movie Cast

BiteSomebody_finalThe BITE SOMEBODY series is full of characters. I don’t mean in the literal sense that there are lots of people running around; I mean characters, like the kind of people you don’t forget, either because they’re that weird or they’re that awesome. Depends on your POV.

Whenever I write, I base my characters on real people, usually actors, because I’d get in too much trouble if I based fictional characters on, say,  crazy relatives or that lady who talks to her cats. I digress …

So who would be in the BITE SOMEBODY series movie? You must be dying to know.


Celia Merkin, played by Felicia Day

Celia

The short story that inspired BITE SOMEBODY was first inspired by the TV show The Guild, starring Felicia Day. Although The Guild is about video game nerds, Celia is an 80s nerd, but the parallel just fit, as did the red hair requirement. True, Felicia isn’t quite as curvy as our Celia, but hey, feed her a bunch of cheeseburgers. I can’t picture anyone else playing the bumbling, newbie vamp who makes BITE SOMEBODY so hilariously awkward.

Ian Hasselback, played by Benedict Cumberbatch

Ian

I’m guilty of basing most of my male leads in some way on this beautiful British man. Of course, Ian isn’t British, but thanks to Doctor Strange, we all know Benedict can do an American accent. Ian is a laid back ex-surfer dude with huge, curly, black hair. The actor who plays him will have to infuse some levity into every situation, even while vomiting. (Ian has a weak stomach.) I’m pretty sure Benedict can pull this off, and having him naked in a bathtub doesn’t sound so bad either.

Imogene, played by Sara Dobie Bauer

Imogene

Me. Yeah, I know, I just cast myself in my fantasy film version of the BITE SOMEBODY series, but hear me out. This is not my fault. It was suggested by a first reader, very early on, that I’d accidentally based Imogene on the way I look and, yeah, okay, on my somewhat snarky and morally flexible behavior. Imogene likes boys. Imogene likes rum punches. Imogene likes combat boots and sparkly high heels, and she says whatever she’s thinking, no matter how inappropriate. If that doesn’t sound like me, then … you haven’t met me.

Lord Nicholas Christopher Cuthbert III, played by Benedict Cumberbatch

Nicholas

I know, I’m ridiculous, but Benedict is my muse, okay? Granted, it’ll be hard for him to play all the romantic male leads in the BITE SOMEBODY series, but the twins in The Parent Trap were obviously both Hayley Mills, so there. Whereas Ian is sweet and soft, Nicholas is snarky and strong. He’s red carpet Benedict with his expensive suits and impeccable grooming.

Dr. Rayna Savage, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones

kinopoisk.ru

Everything about Dr. Savage is perfect, and well, Catherine is perfect. She’s a lifelong girl crush of mine, and she’d look absolutely banging in an expensive business suit with sexy specs. Plus, she has the grace to exude that “Oh-wow-you’re-an-idiot” expression that every snotty therapist requires.

Dean the Human, played by Jensen Ackles

Dean

This one’s dedicated to my gal pal Sam. If Dr. Savage is going to have a boyfriend, why not make him gorgeous? Jensen has the pretty boy good looks and effortless charm a vampire-human relationship deserves.

Danny, played by Colin Farrell

Danny

Another hot guy? Yes. Don’t judge me! I like hot guys! For Celia’s smoldering bad boy maker, who better than this Irish stud muffin? He’s got the dark hair and eyes required to play the part, and he’s also got the attitude. He’ll look fantastic in a pinstripe suit, and we already know Colin can play a vampire thanks to Fright Night. He might actually be a vampire.

Vixen the Stripper, played by Christina Hendricks

Vixen

As Danny’s ditzy paramour, I need an actress who can play angry/crazy while rocking red hair and big boobs. Done. Plus, Christina’s overall lusciousness would really do a number on Celia’s self-esteem.

Amora Savoy, played by Penelope Cruz

Amora Savoy

To play the immortal maker of The Great Lover (Nicholas), you better be hot. Ms. Cruz is definitely hot … and maybe a bit of a bad girl. Amora is A LOT bad, but she looks and sounds super sweet. Whenever I wrote her dialogue, I heard Penelope’s cute voice talking. Plus, the woman really knows how to fill out a formal gown. Meow.

Olivier Winsome, played by Jeremy Irons

Olivier

There is nothing cuddly about this leader of a vampire watchdog organization. He loves bossing people around, especially Nicholas, and he is one ancient, ballsy dude. Ever since I saw Irons in Lolita, I’ve been equally scared and in love with this charming English gent. He seems like the kind of guy who could make you smile right before he stabs you. Warm and cuddly … but not at all? Yep, that’s Olivier.

Heidi, played by Helen Mirren

Heidi

I would partially cast Dame Helen just so my husband could meet her and hopefully get to kiss her. BUT I also love her sense of humor and willingness to act the fool. Celia’s landlady and owner of the Sleeping Gull Apartments is obnoxious, overly tan, and never to be seen without her horrific yellow wig. She drinks margaritas and smokes weed. From what I’ve seen of Helen, I bet she’d get down with some bad beach behavior.


So now you’ve met the cast of the BITE SOMEBODY series fantasy film. Have you ordered your copies yet? Sigh. Now, I just need to get to work on that screenplay …

Longboat Key: The Real BITE SOMEBODY Location

The Florida locale where all Bite Somebody hijinks go down is referred to in the book as “Admiral Key,” but it’s based on a real place in Florida called Longboat Key.  My family has been vacationing there since long before I was old enough to drink rum punches. Now, every year, my Aunt Susie (and sometimes my mom) head down to Longboat Key for what we call “The Bite Somebody Pilgrimage.” I was just there in April, and I brought back photos of not only the real locations but also … a real character.

Book: The Drift Inn (and Angry Santa)
Real Life: The Drift-In (and Dave)

Much alcohol consumption occurs at this dirty dive bar on  real life Bradenton Beach. We pay homage every year by drinking cheap beer and dancing. We also try not to annoy the perpetually silent bar back, Dave (nicknamed “Angry Santa”), who’s actually super friendly if you get him on his day off.

drift-inn

Me with Angry Santa!! And it's kind of awkward how much that mannequin looks like me.

Me with Angry Santa!! And it’s kind of awkward how much that mannequin looks like me.

Book: The Sleeping Gull Apartments
Real Life: Little Gull Cottages

I’ve ridden my bike (like Ian) past these cottages so many times, and I think they’re adorable. When I started writing Bite Somebody, there was no other option for where Celia and Ian would live. And don’t forget about their crazy landlady, Heidi, who’s based on an actual lady who walks the beaches of Longboat Key in a blonde wig.

sleeping-gull

Book: The Daiquiri Deck
Real Life: Um, The Daiquiri Deck

Imogene plays a rousing game of Marry-Screw-Kill on the balcony of the Daiquiri Deck in real life St. Armands Circle while Celia drinks my favorite beverage: Kryptonite, a mixture of the establishment’s Electric Lemonade & Green Parrot with Grain Alcohol on top. Aunt Susie and I always pay a visit.

dack-deck-collage

Book: Florida’s Gulf Coast
Real Life: Um, Florida’s Gulf Coast

Ready for a night swim? Celia sure does like a good midnight plunge into the ocean, and so do I, much to the horror of my aunt, who had to remind me, “You’re not actually an immortal vampire.” I didn’t drown this year. The water felt warm. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, I felt a bit like a mermaid …

sunset

Book: Poe’s Park
Real Life: Durante Community Park

Some sexy time ensues in a certain foliage-filled park on fictitious Admiral Key. On Longboat Key, this park exists, although under a different name. I’ve never been there at night, but Susie and I often go for bike rides here, where we try to spot dolphins and manatees in the harbor.

poe-park

Book: Rum Punches
Real Life: SEVERAL Rum Punches

Imogene’s favorite drink in Bite Somebody is a rum punch because, quote, “It’s beachy, bitch.” I first discovered these concoctions on my honeymoon in Belize, and I brought the recipe home: a mix of spiced rum, strawberry-banana juice, peach juice, and ice. I’ve mastered the technique, and Imogene’s right: they’re beachy.

rum-punch-collage

One more farewell from The Drift-In. Don’t forget to pre-order your copy of Bite Somebody today, coming June 21st from World Weaver Press. Click HERE to order, and a happy splash of rum punch in your general direction!

friends

Aunt Susie with Bite Somebody … and our new friends!