How to write a vampire threesome

In celebration of Blood in the Rain 4, let me tell you that writing a threesome took some serious visualization skills. In my new short story “Miracle Monsters,” ancient vampires Flech and Ivy spot Addison at the club. Addison is deaf, and his handicap sets him apart from the sweating, writhing mob. (It doesn’t hurt that he’s freaking gorgeous.) Soon, they take him home and make him a mysterious offer …

But that’s enough. No spoilers here! The only obvious spoiler: yes, there is a threesome in “Miracle Monsters,” and yes, it was hard to choreograph. As a writer, it’s difficult enough writing a scene where three people are talking, let along fu … having fun. They’re having so much fun. My suggestion for writing a threesome scene: use your imagination. Picture everything. And, you know, do your research.

Blood in the Rain 4 is a collection of vampire erotica from Cwtch Press, and you can order your copy today. Read all about it:

Bite me, you say? Be careful what you wish for… These searing vampire short stories go straight to your unspeakably dark desires. Biting, drinking blood, sucking souls—they do it all in this scorching new collection. Whether they are out for a meal or a good time, the vampires in these stories are sure to make you hot and bothered. Savor each story one bite at a time, or devour the collection whole. These tales are sure to entice and ensnare you, whatever your kink or inclination!

Now, go buy all the vampire sexy goodness. Click HERE.

Enjoy an excerpt of my story, “Miracle Monsters” below. (And if Addison maybe looks like Timothee Chalamet, sue me. The kid is hot right now. There miiiiiiiiight be some Only Lovers Left Alive vibes, too …)

“Miracle Monsters:” An Excerpt
by Sara Dobie Bauer
Featured in Blood in the Rain 4

I spotted one such creature under the moving, colored lights. While I leaned halfway on my husband’s lap and played with his long, black hair, I watched the handsome stranger stand off from the crowd, his hip against the bar. He just barely nodded his head to the heavy bass as young men and women shouted at the bartender for another drink and another. He didn’t appear to hear them. When he was approached, I understood why.

“Fletch.” I squeezed his shoulder. “Look.”

The handsome stranger put down his drink and signed. He was deaf. The rapid motion of his hands allowed me a close study of his long, pale fingers. His friend responded in kind, and they laughed together. The stranger had shaggy, dark hair like my husband, so he twitched his head back to clear his view.

“Shall we give him a miracle?” I asked Fletch.

His nose tickled the side of my neck. “You don’t even know the man, dear.”

I wrapped my arms around him, the leather of our jackets sticking together in the muggy club. “But don’t tell me you wouldn’t like to. Look at him.”

“I’m looking.”

“He has the face of an angel, but the body of a man.”

“A boy, perhaps. He’s thin as a rail.”

“But tall. As tall as you.” I kissed the side of his face. “Don’t dare lie to me, husband. You would love to have him in our bed.”

“Your Good Samaritan is showing, wife. You only want to f**k him because he’s deaf.”

“Let me at least meet him.”

Fletch gave my thigh a playful squeeze as the stranger watched the crowd.

“Look how he moves,” I whispered above the music, right in Fletch’s ear. “He can feel the bass but nothing more, yet he watches the way people dance. He moves with them.”

“Like a man stumbling in the dark.”

“Yet, he is the light.”

When a young woman shoved up to the bar, the stranger tilted his body further toward us. Fletch was right, he was thin and delicate in the way flowers are with androgynous features that tricked the eye—every eye—into believing this creature belonged in bed. I could see them all looking, even the rude woman behind him. They all wanted, but we had the advantage: Fletch and I could actually sign.

“Good God, look at that mouth.”

I laughed at Fletch’s low growl.

“Fine. Go on, go get him.” He gave my ass a squeeze as I stood. “Just be sure to bring him back.”

Just in time for Halloween, buy your copy of Blood in the Rain 4 today. Click HERE, and enjoy all the vampire yumminess.


A sweet story … except for the murder

My love stories don’t tend to be sweet. I’m more into noir weirdos with purple hair (cough, Imogene) than two semi-normal good people. Then, I wrote “Claimed” and was like, “Wow, that was actually adorable … except for that one murder scene.”

Olivia is a super old vampire in Charleston, South Carolina, when someone tries to kill her. To survive, she attacks a young human walking his dog and accidentally becomes linked to Ethan, body and soul. That’s when Ethan’s nightmares start, and Olivia realizes he needs to be with her. Like, forever. Which is a huge problem when Ethan becomes Human Most Wanted for some vengeful bloodsuckers.

“Claimed” is out today in Blood in the Rain 3 from Cwtch Press. The cover is beyond sexy. Here, gaze on its magnificence …

Nom nom nom!!! Now, read an excerpt from “Claimed,” because for once, I wrote a love story about two people who legitimately deserve happiness. (Not that Imogene doesn’t but, well … she is pretty twisted, okay?)

Death came quickly—or would have if not for the human by the palm tree on King Street. He walked a dog that barked at her in fear. Away from the bars of downtown Charleston, they were alone on the sidewalk, alone outside for blocks thanks to the late hour. The human’s voice reached her: gentle murmurings, cautious whispers, and then louder inquiries.

The dog growled and barked some more, and Olivia fell to one knee on the pavement. Her vision dimmed, so she closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth as if that would stop the dead blood from coursing through her veins.

She thought about being at the bar earlier, about seeing Alexander across the room with his own blood-filled glass lifted in salute. Olivia had paid the bartender and left after consuming half a bottle of Age 37, which had apparently been spiked with blood from a dead human.

In other words, someone had tried to murder her.

But then, there he was: the human on the sidewalk with the barking dog. She looked up at his tall silhouette, back lit white by a streetlight. She reached her hand up to him but crumpled into a small undead ball when pain stabbed across her gut. Her lungs contracted and would not expand. She choked on lack of air.

The human’s gentle voice reached her again, but she couldn’t make out the words. She clenched her jaw together to capture a strangled growl when she lost feeling in her legs. Then, his hands were on her shoulders—large, warm hands. The dog continued barking a few feet away, its leash now tied to the base of a palm tree.

Up close, she made sense of his words: “I’m calling an ambulance.”

Before he could call, though, she dragged herself up by the front of his coat. She climbed the front of his crouched body until she could wrap her arms around his neck, and he held her. He told her it was going to be okay.

Olivia’s canines descended, and she bit down hard on the side of his throat. He tried to push her away, but she clung, especially when his blood filled her mouth. It had been a hundred years since she’d tasted fresh human blood, right from the vein. She moaned against his skin as he attempted to scramble back, maybe free the barking dog, but she wasn’t dying anymore. She used her strength to pin the man to the pavement, and the dog barked and barked. The man’s heartbeat slowed.

When she realized what was about to occur, she pulled her teeth from his throat and stared down at him. How old could he be? Twenty? Twenty-one? The only wrinkles on his face were shallow laugh lines around his half-open eyes. He looked at her but didn’t appear to see her because now, he was the one dying.

“No, no, no.” She smacked his cheek. “Oh, my God.” She grabbed for his discarded cell phone, already primed to call 911. She dialed and screamed about a mugging, a stabbing, send help to King Street now.

The man didn’t move beneath her, lips parted for his final breaths.

“Please, come back.”

The dog growled and pulled at its chain.

Olivia rolled up the sleeve of her leather jacket and bit into her own pale flesh, warm with the overabundance of the poor man’s blood. She held her wrist over his lips and let blood tumble drop by desperate drop. Her wound healed almost immediately, so she leaned her head against his chest and listened for the heartbeat that strengthened and strengthened.

She sat up and ran her fingers across his cheeks. “That’s it, come on.”

His eyes opened, irises the color of midnight on the harbor. Brow furrowed, he studied her face as the dog, prevented from protecting its master, whined.

“I’m so sorry.” She fled to the beat of an incoming ambulance.

Read the rest of “Claimed” and eighteen other awesomely sensual vampire stories in Blood in the Rain 3. Click HERE and buy your copy today!! And while you’re shopping, you might as well check out the whole series …

Bite Somebody · Forever Dead · Publishing · Sara Dobie Bauer · Writing

Hot vampire sex anthology, just in time for Halloween


I blame Anne Rice. I read Interview with a Vampire at an inappropriately young age, so now, mention the word “vampire,” and I’m like, “Bite me, you sexy beast.” (Especially if you look like Alexander Skarsgard.)

As you know, my vamp rom-com novel BITE SOMEBODY comes out next year. BITE SOMEBODY is funny and sweet and, yeah, sexy as hell–but mostly funny. My short story, “Forever Dead,” is not funny but scorchingly hot and now available in Cwtch Press’s Blood in the Rain: Seventeen Stories of Vampire Erotica.

In the words of the anthology’s editors, Cecilia Duvalle and Mary Trepanier, “Forever Dead” brings us “a muscular, vamp-hunting detective with an uncomfortable hankering for a blood-sucking guy.” Zach and Dario are possibly two of my hottest characters to date, and they do really hot things to each other. But they’re not alone.

bloodMore about the anthology: In this collection of erotic vampire tales from authors Northwestern and Northwestern at heart, the creatures range from classic to alien, from dom to sub, from blood-drinking to soul-sucking. In Jeff Mann’s “Summer Solstice Sacrifice,” a burly, kilted vampire faces losing a lover or turning him before it’s too late. Colleen Anderson’s “Hold Back the Night” explores how cultural norms divide two very different women in Mumbai—one of them undead. A male vampire watches his wife solve his murder in Joscelyne Gray’s “The Longest Death of the Year.”

And that’s just a tease. For the full round up, you can buy the Kindle or paperback version at Amazon today. It’s the time of year when all things ghoulish run free. Why not invite a vampire (or several) to your bedroom tonight?

If you want print, click HERE.

If you want Kindle, click HERE.

And to get you hot and bothered, here’s a quick excerpt from “Forever Dead:”

He wasn’t even out of his shoes when I threw my first punch. I lifted him about ten feet off the ground and dropped his dead weight on the kitchen table. I pinned him down and let him know, “I was just playing earlier. Now, I’m gonna kill you.”

He didn’t even yell when I tore at his throat. He barely struggled. Guess he figured when your time’s up, your time’s up. But then his hands were in my hair. He made a pleased “ung” noise, and I felt him, hard against my thigh. Before I knew what the hell I was doing, my mouth covered his parted lips. I shoved my tongue against his teeth, setting up imaginary flags that said “Mine, mine, mine.”