I just birthed a new novel, and no one’s shocked as me

Yesterday, I finished writing a new novel. This may come as a shock considering I haven’t talked about the new project with anyone. It’s sort of like being pregnant for nine months, never growing a belly, and then, just pooping out a baby.

In order to wrap my mind around this screaming infant, I’ve decided to interview myself, because, as you’ll read, I’ve been a little multiple personality lately.

Won’t you please tell us what the new novel is about?!!!

Oh, that’s easy! It’s about this song:


You understand the storyline, right? No? Well, shit. See, even I don’t completely understand what went on. I know how the book felt, and it felt like “Bloodstream.”

How long did it take you to write your new book?

It took four and a half months to write this book, probably because my editor at Red Moon Romance and I have been working on rewrites for BITE SOMEBODY, to be released in 2016. BITE SOMEBODY is light, funny; the new book is not. Some days, I swear, I was like Sybil, hopscotching from one personality and back again.

How do you feel now that the project is finished?

Sort of sad, really. That said, it’s not finished. I only wrote a first draft. Listen: it’s a secret nobody wants to tell you. The first draft is the easiest part of writing a book. Everything that comes after … yeah, there’s a reason writers are crazy.

man_crazy_surreal_explosion_brain_57144_3840x1200

What is your creative process when you start writing a new novel?

Write and write and write. Don’t go back and edit. Don’t outline (because you’ll throw it away anyway). Know your characters, at least. Do biographical sketches on your leads, and then, let them do whatever the hell they want, because they own you. In my case, the damn lead characters even changed the ending. WTF?

What’s the hardest part about writing a novel?

The last line.

What are you going to do next?

I wish I could say, “Go to Disneyland,” but truthfully, I’m probably going to stare at the wall for twenty minutes then go to the gym and stare at the weight machines for half an hour. Writing a novel is hard work, and when you’re done, there is a certain amount of exuberance but there’s melancholy, too, because you don’t get to hang with your characters anymore (no matter that they’re sort of deplorable in the new novel).

Finally, what’s the title of your new book?

I don’t have one.

You don’t have one?

Oh, shut up.

4 thoughts on “I just birthed a new novel, and no one’s shocked as me

    • Haha yes!!! I usually make my first readers think of something, because I’m just that clueless. After spending so much time with a book, it feels impossible to distill the tone and meaning into, like, five words. Uggg!!!

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