Bite Somebody · Gina's Team · Mental Health · Publishing · Sara Dobie Bauer · Writing

Wow, some stuff happened this year!

I don’t believe in the whole new year, fresh slate shenanigans. I don’t do resolutions. January is another month. It marks nothing but another month. Despite this, I guess a new year number is a nice way to mark accomplishments. In homage, I spent this morning thinking back over 2014, professionally, and well, shit, a lot of stuff happened.

1. Short stories
“Don’t Ball the Boss” in Stoneslide Corrective
Most read story of 2014 on the Stoneslide site
Nominated for a Pushcart Prize
“Just one more look, I tell myself. One more glance, and I’m back to my room down the hall, door locked, and hidden under the bed. But, for shit’s sake, he’s standing there, his shirt destroyed, his hair a mutinous rat’s nest, and his hot mouth swollen like he’s been punched. I’m proud that I did all this, but I can’t move.”

“The Youngest Brother” in Solarcide
“His chest rose and fell much too fast, and she watched his alcohol-soaked gaze jump back and forth over pavement. ‘I never wanted this. God, I never did.’ His voice cracked, but he kept the gun pointed at her chest. ‘What did they hire you to do? Kill me?'”

“You Need My Shit” in The Molotov Cocktail
“My husband suggested I keep my revolver in a little box during our garage sale just in case. It never occurred to me to be worried about people robbing my African statue that looks like it’s taking a shit.”

“Map of Memories:” to be published in 2015 by Under the Gum Tree
“No Smoking:” to be published in 2015 by Akashic Books: Thursdaze

2. Novel
Bite Somebody: A Bloodsucker’s Diary was completed in 41 days and is currently being shopped to literary agents nationwide.

“I’m a vampire, and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. You know in movies how vampires are all super good-looking and confident and mysterious? I saw Interview with the Vampire. I’ve seen all the vampire movies made, like, ever. I thought maybe if I studied Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, I would wake up one night looking like Catherine Zeta Jones. Instead, I wake up with bed head and dry drool on the outside of my mouth and wonder what went wrong?

“Deciding to become a vampire was like deciding on a last minute tattoo. Walk into a tattoo parlor, half-tipsy, and say, ‘I want that one.’

“I thought becoming a vampire would fix everything and make me better. That’s what Danny said. Instead, it’s been three months, I haven’t bitten anyone, and I spend all my time drinking lukewarm blood from hospital donation bags when I’m not working the night shift at Happy Gas down the street from my crappy Florida apartment. And I have a crush on the smell of my neighbor.”

Read more at Wattpad.

3. Mental Health
I was very open about my own mental health this year (or lack thereof), through work and on my own personal blog. My favorites?
Let’s Talk About Cutting
I’m a depressive cutter, don’t let my sense of humor fool you

4. Photo shoots
I did two this year, which is plenty, since hey, photo shoots can be a lot of work! One was in homage to Fight Club anti-hero Marla Singer (photographs by Chris Loomis) and the other was for my friend, Sara Santiago’s, “Myth of Modesty” series (photographs by Devon Adams).

5. Books read: 66.

6. Interviews
I had the chance to talk to several icons this year, including Amanda Palmer, Cary Elwes, Caitlin Moran, Gregory Maguire, Evangeline Lilly, and The Minimalists. I learned something special from each of them, and I feel blessed to have a job at that allows me such access.

7. Book clubs
Thanks to Gina’s Team, the Perryville Prison women’s book club is still going strong, once a month. As of December, we’ve started two more at Skelley House women’s shelters in downtown Phoenix and at Mingus Mountain Academy (for troubled teens) in Prescott.

8. Benedict Cumberbatch
How could I not include this beautiful man on the 2014 list? He’s made me plenty of money through work, and he’s built me an unexpected internet fanbase. Cumberbitches, unite!
How Benedict Cumberbatch helped my career
SK Confessional: I’m obsessed with Benedict Cumberbatch, and here’s why (This article earned me #1 on Google search, thank you.)
22 Things you don’t understand about the Benedict Cumberbatch obsession
11 Times Benedict Cumberbatch stood up for gay rights

Phew, I’m tired just looking at all this. I could get into the personal life changes, but well, that would be another thousand words. For now, join me in a slow clap of admiration over the passing of a successful 2014 and toast to more great things to come!

4 thoughts on “Wow, some stuff happened this year!

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