NYC Schools Ban Offensive (?) Words on Standardized Tests

You know what words offend me? Ignorance. Stupidity. Censorship. And panties. Especially pronounced with a Midwestern accent: “peeeeaaaanties.” Okay, that last word has nothing to do with what I’m writing about … or maybe it does, because I’d put money on New York City banning “panties” from their standardized tests, too.

"But I like dinosaurs!!"

Amidst HLN’s constant coverage of the Trayvon Martin murder case (which is another blog post altogether), I heard about New York City’s newest move in the dumbing down of American students. From the ABC News website: “Students in New York City’s public schools cramming for tests can delete words like birthdays, junk food, Halloween, dinosaur and even dancing from study lists. References to such words have been banned from city-issued tests in an edict issued by the city’s Department of Education for fear the words could ‘appear biased’ or ‘evoke unpleasant emotions’ in students.”

I totally get it. I mean, the older I get, the more I hate birthdays, too. Let’s scratch the word from our vernacular, because I don’t want to be offended when I turn thirty in June …

Ha, kidding. This is the dumbest thing I’ve heard since we took the cuss words out of Huckleberry Finn. Here we have another example of over-sensitive idiots (idiots who are in charge of teaching our children, by the way) trying to make the world a happier, more peaceful world that just happens to resemble Atlas Shrugged.

It gets worse. Do you want to hear why the aforementioned words are banned? “Dinosaurs, the Post reports, were banned because they reference evolution, which fundamentalist students might not agree with.  Birthdays are not celebrated by Jehovah’s Witnesses and Halloween suggests paganism, so they are not allowed, and so is dancing because some sects object.”

Footloose has become reality! GAH! I scream for two reasons. One: because I don’t like Footloose. And two: pretty soon, we won’t have any words left.

"Gimme my birthday back!"

More from ABC News: “Also on the list of topics are ‘creatures from outer space,’ homes with swimming pools, computers, vermin, junk food, abuse, terrorism, divorce, any references to disease and holidays.”

HOMES WITH SWIMMING POOLS? Okay, so that one’s pretty funny … until you think about what it means. If we’re banning homes with swimming pools, what will we ban next? Evolution is obviously out (hence the removal of “dinosaurs”). Pythagoras could be out soon, too, because maybe some kid got sick on Greek food once, which subconsciously made him also despise triangles. There won’t even be a Writing/Reading section on standardized tests soon, because there’s no way they’ll be able to find enough excerpts that reference … well, nothing at all and make us feel nothing at all.

I know: let’s just get rid of standardized tests altogether. That way parents will stop complaining that their child “isn’t good at standardized tests” (translation: “my child is an idiot”). There will be no unpleasant emotions evoked in the child. The child won’t have to think at all, which is what New York is seemingly trying to accomplish. Why delay it? Let’s just get rid of tests. Then, we can get rid of school, and we’ll all be unbiased and cheerful and stupid together.

I probably shouldn’t have watched Idiocracy recently. The movie takes place five-hundred years from now. By then, Americans are so stupid, they can’t support themselves. There is no water, only energy drinks. The best show on TV is some guy getting kicked in the balls over and over. Sound familiar? That’s because we’re almost there. Thank you, New York City, for ruining my day.

12 thoughts on “NYC Schools Ban Offensive (?) Words on Standardized Tests

  1. I’d accepted the fact that the world is committed to testing, period. It helps that my kids are good at it. Sadly we have no other national testing and grades amount to comparing the un-comparable.
    But this thing with panties, while it doesn’t bother me, is baffling. Underwear is a bad word? I think NOT wearing panties is dirty!:(

    • “Panties” is not yet banned by NYC. It is, however, banned by me 🙂 It’s one of my least favorite words haha.

      I just hope this doesn’t get out of hand. I hope more states don’t get on this censorship bandwagon. If so, I swear I might end up living in a cabin somewhere in the woods … and never watching the news.

  2. As you point out in your reference to Atlas Shrugged, the most frightening aspect of this is that these people are ignorant of the fact that this is depriving Americans of their rights to freedom of speech and of belief. To ban Halloween because it offends some Christians itself offends Pagans that do celebrate Halloween. It is impossible to gauge what the ‘common good’ actually entails, as Rand points out in her book. Trying to create a world where we don’t have to face up to challenges, like standardized tests, is just unrealistic and can never be the way forward. It is very sad to see America come to these straits.

  3. Incredible capitulation to overboard PC and religious intolerance of anyone else thinking, speaking, or reading outside THEIR orthodoxy. The school administration fanatics who did this should be sacked, or does that word have offensive connotations to bag-boys or some micro se t?

  4. I may have peed my pants a little reading the part about greek food and triangles. I love these angry rants. They’re so cute:)

  5. Sara, again, I ‘m amazed by the sad stupidity that seems to be taking over our country. I just have to turn the news off quite often. It’s a good thing that I believe God is my authority and He’s very smart. Love you Doll.

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