Some would argue my life has been moving in fast-forward lately, so this whole rush-rush to the Christmas season is just normal. Right? Wrong.
Okay, yeah, the past month has been lived in chaos. First, there was Halloween, and what a glorious spook-fest it was. Then, a whole week passed that I don’t remember because I was too busy thinking about my wedding. Then, the week of November 7th, my whole family descended on Phoenix. I got married November 12th. Jake and I had a mini-honeymoon in Flagstaff for four days, post-wedding. We got back last Friday, and people were talking about Thanksgiving, which made me wonder, “Why are people talking about Thanksgiving already?” Oh, right, because Thanksgiving is tomorrow.
The sudden arrival of Turkey Day is not what distresses me most. I am most distressed by the pre-Thanksgiving arrival of CHRISTMAS! In the middle of November, Christmas music was already playing on the radio. I won’t name the store (it rhymes with Blood-Bath and Beyond), but they had their Christmas decorations up when I went to buy an Autumn Leaves Yankee Candle—in autumn. There are horrendous marketing campaigns already on TV, filled with glowing trees, snow, and people in scarves. I have to mute them, because I don’t understand why we’re skipping Thanksgiving.
You can blame it on the bad economy. Marketers think the sooner they get their ads up, the sooner their sales will soar. They don’t realize there are people like me out there who refuse to buy certain products simply because the commercials bug me—which is why I can’t buy Charmin toilet paper. I hate those commercials with the baby bear covered in left-over poopy-paper on his butt. No. So dear marketers, here’s a note: you’re making me feel very un-Christmassy with all your stupid ads in November!
Thanksgiving is an amazing day. It is a day we are expected to fill with eating, beer, and football. That’s all! What a great day! We’re supposed to think about all we’re thankful for—and as Americans, we have a crap-ton to be thankful for. It’s a day to relax with family before the Christmas hubbub threatens our calm. And yet, the world is trying to run it over.
Now, maybe this happens every year. Maybe the Christmas madness always begins in late October … Wait, NO! NO! It can’t possibly always begin this early! If it has, how did I never notice it before?
Not only does this concern me because of my love for Thanksgiving. It concerns me because Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year, and Christmas peace and joy will NOT subdue my horror movies and haunted houses! If we’re not careful, we’ll be celebrating Christmas all year, and we’ll all go broke, and our faces will hurt from being cheerful all the time, and Santa will lose a ton of weight because of all the stress, until he finally retires from extreme exhaustion and then, there will be no Christmas at all! Because of YOU, marketers, retail stores, and radio stations!
This is a call to action. I demand you live in the moment tomorrow. I demand you acknowledge the insane awesomeness that is Thanksgiving, because it is not a holiday to be missed—even if Christmas is trying to elbow its way in. It is a day to be thankful, so enjoy it. Give lots of hugs. Overeat and drink. And be sure to root for the Detroit Lions, who have finally given fans something to be thankful for this year. Happy Thanksgiving! HOORAH!